As a parent or guardian, it’s the most natural thing in the world to want to give your child what you never had, to give them the best so that they can enjoy life. There comes a point, however, when financial help starts fostering a strong sense of entitlement. It’s generally best to curb this early, because when a child feels entitled, he can become less considerate to others and less willing to work for his own keep. To cut the problem off before it grows, you must recognize the signs your child thinks you—and others—owe him.

He doesn’t take care of his things.

Every child wants to see what happens if Toy A hits Wall B at some point, but if your child is consistently trashing his stuff or throwing away items he’s barely used, it shows that he’s not worried about replacing it. He might even say things like, “That’s okay, we can just get another one.” You can work against this simply by refusing to get new versions of the items he loses or breaks, as well as being honest about the price of the items. Modeling how to behave with the goods is essential. Another good idea is to have him set a goal to buy something he wants on his own, because this teaches him the value of getting something for himself and makes the item a little more special.

He doesn’t have any favorite items.

When a child has many different things, the result essentially is that he is bombarded with things to do. Nothing ever really stands out because there are so many choices, so he might move from item to item quickly without ever exploring anything in depth. Instead of trying to keep up with the Joneses and give your child as much as the next kid, concentrate more on your child’s real interests and get just a few items you know he will love and use.

He looks for the next thing.

A kid who gets a lot tends not to be satisfied no matter how much he’s given. On a birthday, for example, he might burn through presents and then ask if there are any more. He might even get upset if the gifts don’t include items he was expecting. A better option is to give gifts spread out over time so he really sees each thing as unique and has something to look forward to over the whole day even if the number of presents isn’t very high.

“Mine” and “Me” are frequently in conversation.

Entitled children usually have an egocentric outlook on life. They quickly claim ownership and push—sometimes literally—to be first. Although every child needs good self-esteem, those who truly feel entitled ignore the needs and feelings of others, worrying primarily about their own feelings of happiness. Teaching your child to participate in charitable giving is a fabulous way to encourage them to start thinking about and helping someone other than himself. Modeling turn taking and sharing matters, too.

He doesn’t listen to “no.”

Although the comparison isn’t very appealing, kids can be a lot like Pavlov’s dogs—that is, they can be conditioned to respond a certain way. If you always cave to what your child wants, it teaches him that “no” is something he simply needs to bypass, that doesn’t have any real meaning. If your child keeps pressing you to do or buy something on a consistent basis, this is probably the problem. The only way to fix it, unfortunately, is to stick to your guns and keep refusing his