Today, an increasingly large number of people are considered “boomerang” kids, coming back home to live with their parents after college or some time in their own place. Many parents are more than willing to offer this type of help to prevent future hardships, but the question of whether or not you should have your child paying rent is a huge debate.

You’re Child’s a Baby—What Should You Care?

It might be that your child is barely out of diapers, but because the issue of boomeranging is so common, the odds are pretty good that you’ll have to address it later on. Having a child at home affects the resources you have at home and, in many cases, can alter (for better or worse) your retirement plans. If you want to have money to help your kids in the future, you might need to be investing something toward your choice now. You also need to start making it clear now what you will and will not do for your children so that they can learn the good financial habits that will help them stay independent and minimize the time of a return stay.

Rent? No Way!

Children who are coming back home usually do so because they are having trouble finding or maintaining a job, which often is more a reflection of the market than their education or skills. They typically have to take subpar employment as they look for something more lucrative or closer to their experience and coursework, so income usually isn’t particularly high. At the same time, many boomerang children are weighted down by significant academic debt. If you charge your child rent, it can be much more difficult for him to save anything, leading to greater financial instability later and a harder time putting the money together that’s necessary for an apartment or house.

Many parents argue that adult children who come back home do not necessarily have to contribute to the household through a formal transfer of cash. They point out that you can have your child perform services that can make your life easier instead, such as completing home repairs or cooking meals. This actually can mean you have more freedom to do what you want through the day, and that you might save money because you don’t have to pay a service provider for what your child does. The parents who favor this argument also truthfully assert that the arrangement isn’t much different than when an apartment manager reduces or eliminates a tenant’s rent in return for the tenant completing caretaking or apartment showing responsibilities.

No Rent? No Stay!

Some parents say that charging an adult child rent is the only way to go. The main argument is that doing so better prepares your child for having to juggle the financial realities that exist in the real world. Paying rent is one of those realities for the majority of people, so by asking your child for a sum every month, you might offer a good lesson in responsibility.

Another big reason you might want to have your child at least a small amount in rent is to discourage the idea of entitlement. Some kids who move back home and who aren’t charged rent feel entitled to the arrangement, simply because of your blood relationship. Despite what your child might feel, you don’t necessarily owe him anything else. If you’re a typical parent, you’ve been providing shelter, clothes, food, supplies, and probably entertainment for a good 18 years already. This is normal, but at some point, a “thank you” for everything you’ve done might be warranted, too. At the very least, this should mean that he doesn’t continue to drain your resources unnecessarily.

The Bottom Line

There are good arguments on either side of the boomerang child rent debate. Regardless of whether your child pays in cash or service, his stay with you shouldn’t be free. It is always best to establish a clear timeframe for how long you will allow your child to stay so that your child can come up with a proactive plan for moving out and, as always, has a clear financial path to w