When it comes to buying, putting down money isn’t just about what you need. It’s also about want you want, and the reasons behind those wants can be extremely complex, fulfilling multiple psychological needs. This doesn’t just apply to adults—kids spend because of psychological needs, too. If you want to curb your child’s spending, you have to tune in to how psychology influences his purchase decisions.
The Ability to See Ads as They Are
As explained by Dr. Dale Kunkel, professor of communication at the University of California, Santa Barbara, kids don’t always realize that what they are seeing in advertisements is just meant to sell, or that advertisers can be exaggerating. Instead, children assume that the ad content is truthful and fair, and that it is balanced. “They don’t see the exaggeration or the bias that underlies the claims,” Kunkel says. “To young children, advertising is just as credible as Dan Rather reading the evening news is to an adult.” This means that it is vital for you as a parent to talk to your kids about what they are seeing and to monitor television, computer and other ad source exposure. Without your assistance, your child might not be able to properly interpret the ads and will be more compelled to spend, especially because children tend to be emotionally driven, rather than rationally driven in decision making, choosing impulsively. If they feel like what they’re seeing is “right” or “okay,” they’ll run with it.
Stuff Is Love
In many households, parents work long hours to make ends meet. Unable to give their children time, some parents compensate by giving their kids the little extra money they have or buying gifts. This lets kids connect affection, money, and the receipt of presents. If a child who has made this connection feels sad or lonely, he might eventually end up spending money to make himself feel better. He also might come to think that the giving of money or gifts is an expected way to show others he cares.
The Desire to Fit In
Kids are still developing their sense of identity, and they usually look for feedback from others to verify that they are “okay” or that they fit in. One way they can try to fit in is by making themselves look like members of a group they admire. A second way is to do what members of an ideal group do. Both of these tactics can require spending. If the members of your child’s ideal group all wear a specific type of jeans, for instance, he might want to buy them, too. Similarly, they all go to the movies, your child might use money on a ticket.
Boredom
Kids are often bored as mom and dad try to work and finish household responsibilities. Looking at stuff for sale gives them something to do, and even if they aren’t actively looking to shop, activities such as watching television still increases their exposure to items they can buy. Kids who spend because of boredom are essentially expressing a lack of alternate stimulation, so you often can address the problem by finding other activities for them to do and by challenging them to be creative.
Familiarity and Comfort
Kids thrive on routine. They look for patterns as they try to make sense of the world, and they try to recreate them as a way to self soothe. When you consistently are pulling into the drive-thru or throwing elaborate birthday parties, therefore, you are creating the memory of a spending pattern, even though your child might not be the one buying. Later, your child likely will seek to mimic this pattern, just because the familiarity of it is comforting and makes it feel “normal.” The lesson here is that it is extremely important for you to model good money habits such as saving and giving to charity, as your child will copy what you do in order to maintain a sense of stability.